Coping with a break up can be one of the most difficult things to do. You'll find you can't eat, you can't sleep, you can't work - and all the time you will be constantly plagued by unwelcomed thoughts of the ex, the relationship breakdown, and your future without them.
Of course, you hurt. You're also going through a withdrawal ... YES, a withdrawal! When you are in an intimate relationship you become accustomed to having a certain person in your life, and your daily lifestyle with them. When that 'normalcy' is suddenly taken away from you, you will naturally have to go through some kind of withdrawal stage.
A break up can be on of the hardest things that one can go through. More often than not, breaking up is as hard on the person trying to end the relationship as it is on the person he or she is breaking up with. Don't assume that just because a person is breaking up with you means that they no longer care about you. You must remember that caring and wanting a relationship are not one and the same.
But after all has been said, the emotional toll of a break up can be really really hard at first. It can be a painful experience that can drain one emotionally. But one needs to learn how to deal with it in a very mature way. Here are some food for thought that may be able to help you in coping up with your own break up.
1. Try to accept your sadness and be very kind to yourself.
2. Treat and indulge yourself to some of life’s enjoyable pleasures.
3. Try to ask yourself each day what you have to be grateful for.
4. Make it a habit of thinking up a list of all the things that are great about you and tell yourself.
5. Being broken up with does not mean that something is wrong with you.
6. It is always all right to cry, get mad and feel hurt when you get dumped in a relationship.
7. Breaking up is never always easy.
8. Acting out in anger is never good for anybody.
9. Things may look bleak for you after the break up, but you never know what the future may hold for you and your ex."
When a relationship ends, you may experience symptoms of grief and periodic despair. The foundation of love is sharing, trust and intimacy. This foundation is built through a willingness to be vulnerable. Intimate vulnerability allows your thoughts and emotions to be expressed in the atmosphere of shared experience. When circumstances no longer provide for a bond of intimacy, love and trust, the separation can feel devastating.
The following are common feelings often experienced when a relationship ends. There is no right or wrong feeling to have - we each react to the end of a relationship in our own unique way.
* Denial.
* Anger.
* Fear.
* Self-blame.
* Guilt.
* Disorientation.
* Bargaining.
* Relief.
* Growth.
How to cope with a breakup?
* Give yourself time to heal.
* Engage in 'self-help' practices.
* Realise that you might not be functioning at your best right now.
* Mobilise your support system.
* Get active in joining the club/society you are interested or you belong to.
* Highlight the reasons that the relationship was less than perfect.
* Learn from what happened.
* Volunteer your time to help someone else.
* Learn something new.
* Get a pet or plant.
* Start a new exercise or wellness plan.
* Redecorate your space.
* Write a goodbye letter.
* Get a new look. "
If your having trouble coping with break up depression you are not alone. People all across the world are having trouble controlling their emotions and getting a grip on their situations. There are things you can do to ease your pain. Here are three tips directly from the pages of the best selling ebook from the Magic Of Making Up. These tips will help you in coping with break up pain.
Tip#1- Avoid Contact With Your Ex - This is the number one most common mistake made by people having trouble coping with break up pain. Talking to your ex is not the answer to your problems. They are the cause of them. Your emotions are not stable right now. If you call you will only say things you will regret and come off a way you do not wish to come off as. The best thing you can do when coping with break up depression is hide that phone. You will be better off for it.
Tip#2- Get out of the house- Staying indoors listening to your break up mix on your ipod is the wrong move. One you will have trouble following tip#1 and second being alone makes coping with break up pain that much harder. So get out of the house and surround your self with friends. You need to be around people who can ease your mind. You need to laugh and have some simple mindless fun. If you must talk about how you are having trouble coping with break up pain then talk to friends and family and not the ex. And do it out of the house!
Tip#3- Improve Yourself- This is important. Change it up. This means go on a diet, start a workout routine, get a new hobby or learn a new skill. This will do two things. One it will preoccupy your mind so you can get a break from thinking about the situation and two you will improve your self esteem. This is important to bring some positive energy toward your self and will help in coping with break up pain. Coping with break up pain is a lot easier when you feel good about yourself.
Once You have done these things and feel that you are now no longer in need of help coping with break up pain ask yourself the tough questions. Are you still in love with your ex? Are you heart broken or is your ego bruised? Do you want them back out of love or out of revenge? A lot of times we are so focused on coping with break up pain we can't get a clear view of our situation. Make sure this is what you want before you attempt to get them back.
If you still need help coping with break up pain or want a strategy for getting back your ex check out the best selling ebook the Magic Of Making Up. It worked wonders for me and will do the same for you.
Don't do something stupid
Committing suicide is stupid. It simply means that you are trying to escape from the reality world. You don't deal with a break up by ending your life. A break up doesn't indicate the end of the world. Wake up, my friend, there are many more people who are suffering from severe diseases and living in poverty but yet still fighting hard and refuse to surrender to their misfortunes. You are just temporary missing your directions in a dark corner, time will heal your broken heart.
Don't let off your anger on others
It is always not an easy task in dealing with a break up even if you have been through many times in the past. Emotionally, you are sad and upset, or maybe feeling unfair and uncomfortable when seeing other couples are enjoying happy moments with their partners around. No matter how bad your feeling is, do not let off your anger or disappointment on your friends and family around. Deal with your tough periods maturely please. If you think you need helps or someone to talk to, friends and family are the best people who can help you dealing with your break up by giving you guidance and advice.
Don't hate your ex
Hatred and revenge are sharp feelings which will hurt yourself more than anyone else. Remember, the break up doesn't mean that your ex is having a better life than you. He might be suffering in pain just like you too, so instead of hating him, why not stay cool and give him a smile, show him that you are very enjoying every moment of your life and wish him all the best if you get the chance to bump into him? Dealing with your break up correctly will make him feel that you are a wonderful person and he might start regretting how on earth he can miss out the good personalities on you.
Don't take in excessive substances
You may feel that you need some alcoholic drinks to forget your ex. Have a bottle or two will be sufficient, but excessive might get yourself in health hazard. Actually, having a drink is definitely not the correct way to deal with your break up. It is impossible to erase your memories about your ex by forcing yourself drinking the alcohols, in fact, the more you try to make yourself forget, the more the memories flash into your mind. Why not try something sweet? Sweet stuff are definitely effective in healing your broken heart.
Thursday, 24 February 2011
The penultimate conundrum
I thought long and hard about what I was going to put in this update. To be honest the events that happened earlier this week completely caught me off guard and actually made me doubt everything I thought I knew.
But don’t get me wrong, I can supply you all with a multitude of tips on what one can do or say to improve your odds of keeping your dream woman. And yes, implementing these techniques would bring both you and her happiness and fun but let us be honest with ourselves, that would be dishonest and if you really think about it immoral. This may sound harsh but let’s examine using a reference everyone should comprehend.
From a young age we are all taught about what a person’s IQ represents. But if you delve deeper the IQ is not a measure of intelligence but the potential the person has based on a set of questions the average person is expected to understand based on what is considered to be the educational norm. There is also something referred to as EQ (emotional quota) which represents the potential a person possesses to have productive inter- and intra- personal interactions. With relationships there is a similar potential grading methodology, which I will refer to as PIMP Quota (PQ).
The measurement of all IQ, EQ and PQ is presumed to be unbiased; this simply is not the truth. Well there may be a statistical average one cannot simply measure the potential of 2 different people using the same standards. Each of them all has external factors beyond anyone’s control that affect the outcomes of the measurements. For example one might have genetic advantages or disadvantages.
(In case anyone has not yet grasped the symbolism behind PQ the “higher” a person’s PQ the more successful they should be in a relationship)
The sad part of this all is that any person can increase their Quota by understanding the criteria with which the Quota’s are measured. Once you understand what key factors are looked at you can train yourself in those areas. For example there are sites and books that will “train” you to increase your IQ by illustrating what is looked for and giving you tips on how to improve your responses for increase you IQ. In the same way in the 1st two topics of this group I gave you tips on how to better your chance to get the woman that would normally demand a high PQ.
So yes, by practising and implementing these techniques you can achieve better results in PQ tests (relationships). But in the end that is not who you are. Be honest with yourself, would you really want to be with a woman who would not accept you as yourself, but only after you have used techniques of other people, in actuality she is not dating you but rather dating the mask you have put on.
To be fair once you have convinced her to give you a change you will eventually show her more of yourself and hopefully she will stay with you, but there is also the chance she will dump your ass.
But before I ramble on for too long and forget my point let me make it:
What I have shown you so far is basically your CV; it will only let you get your foot in the door. But ethically I cannot bring myself to give tips on how to manipulate the woman into staying with you because once you two start a relationship emotions will most likely start to develop. I have used these techniques in the past and they have worked almost flawlessly each time but it was my last relationship that has brought about my change in heart. From the beginning I decided that I would not use any of my usual charms but rather just be who I am and very soon emotions started to develop. And now looking back I am glad I didn’t. True, she decided not to stay with me but if I did use them on her and I had eventually hurt her I would not have been able to forgive myself.
So if you would like to use my previous advise to meet the women by all means go ahead, but do yourself (and her) a favour, once you two are together don’t use tricks or play games in an attempt to force her into staying with you; but rather let things develop along a natural course.
But don’t get me wrong, I can supply you all with a multitude of tips on what one can do or say to improve your odds of keeping your dream woman. And yes, implementing these techniques would bring both you and her happiness and fun but let us be honest with ourselves, that would be dishonest and if you really think about it immoral. This may sound harsh but let’s examine using a reference everyone should comprehend.
From a young age we are all taught about what a person’s IQ represents. But if you delve deeper the IQ is not a measure of intelligence but the potential the person has based on a set of questions the average person is expected to understand based on what is considered to be the educational norm. There is also something referred to as EQ (emotional quota) which represents the potential a person possesses to have productive inter- and intra- personal interactions. With relationships there is a similar potential grading methodology, which I will refer to as PIMP Quota (PQ).
The measurement of all IQ, EQ and PQ is presumed to be unbiased; this simply is not the truth. Well there may be a statistical average one cannot simply measure the potential of 2 different people using the same standards. Each of them all has external factors beyond anyone’s control that affect the outcomes of the measurements. For example one might have genetic advantages or disadvantages.
(In case anyone has not yet grasped the symbolism behind PQ the “higher” a person’s PQ the more successful they should be in a relationship)
The sad part of this all is that any person can increase their Quota by understanding the criteria with which the Quota’s are measured. Once you understand what key factors are looked at you can train yourself in those areas. For example there are sites and books that will “train” you to increase your IQ by illustrating what is looked for and giving you tips on how to improve your responses for increase you IQ. In the same way in the 1st two topics of this group I gave you tips on how to better your chance to get the woman that would normally demand a high PQ.
So yes, by practising and implementing these techniques you can achieve better results in PQ tests (relationships). But in the end that is not who you are. Be honest with yourself, would you really want to be with a woman who would not accept you as yourself, but only after you have used techniques of other people, in actuality she is not dating you but rather dating the mask you have put on.
To be fair once you have convinced her to give you a change you will eventually show her more of yourself and hopefully she will stay with you, but there is also the chance she will dump your ass.
But before I ramble on for too long and forget my point let me make it:
What I have shown you so far is basically your CV; it will only let you get your foot in the door. But ethically I cannot bring myself to give tips on how to manipulate the woman into staying with you because once you two start a relationship emotions will most likely start to develop. I have used these techniques in the past and they have worked almost flawlessly each time but it was my last relationship that has brought about my change in heart. From the beginning I decided that I would not use any of my usual charms but rather just be who I am and very soon emotions started to develop. And now looking back I am glad I didn’t. True, she decided not to stay with me but if I did use them on her and I had eventually hurt her I would not have been able to forgive myself.
So if you would like to use my previous advise to meet the women by all means go ahead, but do yourself (and her) a favour, once you two are together don’t use tricks or play games in an attempt to force her into staying with you; but rather let things develop along a natural course.
The allusion of love and how to use it
One of the toughest realities we have to face as men is that for most of us, getting laid is a form of gambling, and the game is strongly rigged against us. Think back to the last time you had a date. C’mon … it wasn’t that long ago, was it? Didn’t you find yourself, either before or during the evening, wondering things like, “when should I make a move? Am I going to get some tonight? Will I get lucky?” And that’s the bottom line… for too many of us; dealing with women is a matter of luck, meaning it is something which is out of our control.
But hold on a second. What if you could design your own “game of chance” where YOU set the rules? What if you could play a game of poker where you get to pick the cards you’re dealt, you get to see her hand before you bet, and you get to borrow money from her to bet against her? You’d play that game 24 hrs a day, that’s what.
And this is what I want to do: put your back in control by teaching you hoe to create, on a repeatable, predictable basis, the kind of results you want with the kind of woman you want, where and when you want it. Does it sound like I’m talking kak? I hope so, it goes against the beliefs of our culture; a culture that teaches you that “attraction” can’t be created, that it has to be a matter of “chemistry” that it is there or it isn’t.
PART ONE: THERE IS NO SUCH THING
Ok. Here is the 1st key secret to understanding any form of influence or persuasion, in any form of life.
There is no such “thing” as love. There’s no such “thing” as passion. There’s no such “thing” as attraction, or chemistry, or lust.
I know what you’re saying. That’s the problem… for most of you, most of the time, there’s no such thing. There’s just boredom, frustration, and playing with Mr. Winky.
But that’s not what I’m talking bout, so pay close attention. I’m not saying that ppl don’t experience states of “attraction” or “chemistry” or “lust”. What I’m saying is that these states are processes that take place inside the human mind and body. Which means that they are states that CAN BE SUMMONED FORTH AND DIRECTED AT WILL!!!
Here’s an example: “Falling in love” exposed!!!
Ok. Since I’m being rather general and theoretical here let’s get a bit more specific and talk bout what every woman dreams about: falling in love.
Now, based on what I’ve said so far, do you think I believe “love” is based on some mysterious “chemistry” that flows between 2 ppl? Maybe it’s caused by a but-naked little angel named Cupid who shoots an arrow into ur ass?
NO. Here’s hoe ppl fall in love: 1st, understand you do NOT fall in love with some1 when you are in their presence. No. you fall in love you’re off by yourself, thinking about them afterwards. This is why it is so hypnotically powerful. Because you are doing it to yourself and ppl are always their own best hypnotists.
Here’s how it happens: you go out with someone, maybe even one date. And then you go home, and you’re laying there, thinking about them. And, you form an image of them in your mind. And, as you do that, you start to list to yourself all the qualities about them that you like, “She’s so ___, she’s so ____, she’s really ____.” Maybe then you picture you and them having lots of fun in all sorts of situations.
Then you get that warm feeling right in your solar plexus, and then, the nail in your coffin, you say her name to yourself 2 or 3 times. If you’re really a geek, maybe you even dance around the house singing it. Or you possibly go around bringing up her name in every conversation.
Sound familiar? Now, as you recall the times in your past when you did this, were you then able to stay cool, on control of yourself AND the relationship? Or were you calling her every day, always wanting to see her, eager to kiss her ass, to the point where she, of course, dropped you?
Here’s the point: “love” is a process people do to themselves! It’s not a “thing” you trip over or a “hole” you fall into.
But hold on a second. What if you could design your own “game of chance” where YOU set the rules? What if you could play a game of poker where you get to pick the cards you’re dealt, you get to see her hand before you bet, and you get to borrow money from her to bet against her? You’d play that game 24 hrs a day, that’s what.
And this is what I want to do: put your back in control by teaching you hoe to create, on a repeatable, predictable basis, the kind of results you want with the kind of woman you want, where and when you want it. Does it sound like I’m talking kak? I hope so, it goes against the beliefs of our culture; a culture that teaches you that “attraction” can’t be created, that it has to be a matter of “chemistry” that it is there or it isn’t.
PART ONE: THERE IS NO SUCH THING
Ok. Here is the 1st key secret to understanding any form of influence or persuasion, in any form of life.
There is no such “thing” as love. There’s no such “thing” as passion. There’s no such “thing” as attraction, or chemistry, or lust.
I know what you’re saying. That’s the problem… for most of you, most of the time, there’s no such thing. There’s just boredom, frustration, and playing with Mr. Winky.
But that’s not what I’m talking bout, so pay close attention. I’m not saying that ppl don’t experience states of “attraction” or “chemistry” or “lust”. What I’m saying is that these states are processes that take place inside the human mind and body. Which means that they are states that CAN BE SUMMONED FORTH AND DIRECTED AT WILL!!!
Here’s an example: “Falling in love” exposed!!!
Ok. Since I’m being rather general and theoretical here let’s get a bit more specific and talk bout what every woman dreams about: falling in love.
Now, based on what I’ve said so far, do you think I believe “love” is based on some mysterious “chemistry” that flows between 2 ppl? Maybe it’s caused by a but-naked little angel named Cupid who shoots an arrow into ur ass?
NO. Here’s hoe ppl fall in love: 1st, understand you do NOT fall in love with some1 when you are in their presence. No. you fall in love you’re off by yourself, thinking about them afterwards. This is why it is so hypnotically powerful. Because you are doing it to yourself and ppl are always their own best hypnotists.
Here’s how it happens: you go out with someone, maybe even one date. And then you go home, and you’re laying there, thinking about them. And, you form an image of them in your mind. And, as you do that, you start to list to yourself all the qualities about them that you like, “She’s so ___, she’s so ____, she’s really ____.” Maybe then you picture you and them having lots of fun in all sorts of situations.
Then you get that warm feeling right in your solar plexus, and then, the nail in your coffin, you say her name to yourself 2 or 3 times. If you’re really a geek, maybe you even dance around the house singing it. Or you possibly go around bringing up her name in every conversation.
Sound familiar? Now, as you recall the times in your past when you did this, were you then able to stay cool, on control of yourself AND the relationship? Or were you calling her every day, always wanting to see her, eager to kiss her ass, to the point where she, of course, dropped you?
Here’s the point: “love” is a process people do to themselves! It’s not a “thing” you trip over or a “hole” you fall into.
how to get beautiful women
Gentlemen, welcome to the jungle. I’m sure that you are well aware of the fierce competition that we routinely encounter in our daily lives. We have to compete for jobs, social status and yes, Women. This is the fucked up reality that will not change anytime soon.
The initial encounter
It is a scientifically proven fact that the brains of men and women are psychologically different. You must learn to exploit these differences to your advantage. A basic knowledge of how the average woman thinks is the strongest weapon you can have when trying to start something with her. I’m aware that at 1st glance this sounds cold and calculating. However, after you start dating the woman you desire, it will be at this point that she will fall in love with you. Dating her will provide you with the opportunity to showcase who you really are, a nice, hardworking, good guy ;-)
The simple fact is that before we try to build any type of relationship we must 1st get her to open up to us. The starting point could be her accepting a date with or even just her talking to you right there on the spot. It’s during this critical initial encounter that she will decide whether or not you are the man she would like to build a relationship with. It is precisely at this point where you must be cold and calculating. She is sizing you up, comparing you to her idea of the perfect man.
One of the biggest mistakes most guys make is that when they try to impress chicks they do so as if the chick is “one of the guys”. Stay away from this type of behavior. You must always treat them like ladies. Very few men realize that women love to be treated like ladies.
Women worry much more then we do. They fret about things like work, money, health and family. A sophisticated approach in appealing to a woman involves the subtle suggestion that you will be “good for her future”. She needs to clearly understand that you can handle tough situations. You can be counted on to take care of things for her, and bring her happiness. Let her tell you what her concerns are. What bothers her? Explain to her how you dealt with similar situations, and offer her some intelligent suggestions. If she seems to be lacking self confidence tell her how capable she seems to you. Many times with your initial encounter with women this type of scenario will play itself out. She will evaluate your every response. She is testing you. At times a woman will casually ask you a question in an off-hand manner that will give you the impression that she is not really concerned with your response. However, in reality she is weighing your words very carefully. Make sure that you give her a sensible intelligent response.
Understanding relationships
Personal relationships are extremely important to women. It is their dream to meet a man who they will fall in love with. A woman enjoys her girlfriends company; however what she really longs for is a deep intimate relationship with a man. This is inborn. Every time a woman meets a man she is thinking of him in terms of “what kind of partner would he be?” If not for her then she will think of you as a potential boyfriend for 1 of her single girlfriends. Keep this in mind when you are in the company of women. Always put your best foot forward and never let your guard down.
It is a fact that women end relationships more often than men do. They know and understand more about them than we do. We tend to fall in love quicker. We do not communicate between our brains and our hearts. A very important rule of thumb is that you should always use your brain when it comes to the dating game. Always step back and evaluate the situation to ensure that you are in control.
An example of how men demonstrate true friendship is by inviting someone that they like to be with to a rugby or soccer game. Women on the other hand show friendship and trust by sharing their secrets. Very few men will open up and share their secrets with a woman. A great way to set yourself apart from other men who you are in direct competition with is to open up and tell her your secrets. If you do not she will feel as though she is not part of your life.
Success with hot women can be yours. You can have beautiful girls as companions and lovers. The 1st step is believing this reality. I stress the fact that rejections will occur, just move on to the next woman. Your future lover will be glad you did!
What women look for
Marrying some1 for love is a relatively new phenomenon. As you have no doubt heard in a social studies course, marriages in the past were always arranged by families. These arrangements were made for practical financial considerations, and love had nothing to do with it. Well, today the same practical considerations exist. Women will judge you by the job that you currently hold. Your future earning potential will be closely scrutinized. I really don’t think you should let yourself be tossed aside just because your career prospects suck at the moment.
Don’t be too hard on women for being this way. We can be difficult as well. Foe example, if you met an ugly girl and had a 1 night stand with her you would not be bothered if she ever called you again. You would not care because she wasn’t very pretty to begin with. Now, is that nice? Of course it’s not. Bottom line, it’s a cruel world.
You can learn a lot by reading personals in any newspaper. Look at what men and women want. Men want young hot wives. Women want a man who is financially secure, or who has potential of achieving financial security. This is why you must demonstrate that you are capable of earning enough money to provide a more than comfortable lifestyle for your future wife and kids. There are other positive attributes that you need to convey to a woman. You must be kind and intelligent. Act with a certain level of sophistication, have an experienced air about you. You can project all these images by the way you speak to her. Be calm, confident, in control, and above all, always give her the impression that you have the utmost respect for her.
Setting yourself apart from the competition
It is the greatest thing in the when our love is returned to us by a beautiful woman that we desire. This will happen for you if you keep these concepts in mind the next time you hit the dance floor or a local club. Think ATTRACTION. In the 1st stages of a relationship she will go through an idealization process concerning you. She will magnify all your good qualities in her mind. You will then be compared to her standard of absolute perfection and excellence. It is critical during this part of the game to be as perfect as you can be. This does not mean that you turn into a doos later on. It simply means that you must set yourself apart from the competition in order to establish the relationship with her in the 1st place.
Understanding women
It is crucial to show a woman that you care about her accomplishments. Don’t wait for her to tell you things about her career or about herself in general. Rather than waiting for her to tell you about these things you should 1st ask her about these subjects, and provide advice. Your inquiries will indicate to her that you are genuinely interested in what goes on in her life, and you are willing to provide support.
Many men are just plain idiots in that they neglect everything their girlfriends do. This is an enormous mistake that eventually sends those women to the arms of another guy. Do not fall into that trap. Be generous and become part of her life, like she’s apart of yours.
In doing this it is critical to display a sense of loyalty in your character. Women are good judges of such traits, thus don’t be fake about it. She will see you as a protector, provider, and some1 who cares about himself and those he loves. Whether she realizes it or not, these traits are critical in her selection of a man.
Getting noticed
Before I go on to the next section, I want stress one last time the importance of the initial encounter. In referring to the “initial encounter” I’m not only talking bout the 1st time you meet her. I’m also referring to the 1st few weeks of the relationship. The attraction stage. You must do everything possible to enhance your physical appearance. There is no way around this. If you’re fat, get on a weight loss program. The truth is that a clean-cut, healthy appearance on a man is very important to the vast majority of women.
You will often hear ppl say that looks don’t count and it’s personality that’s important. That is BULLSHIT! In real life dating you get 1st the attraction of the woman with your physical attraction. Once the physical attraction takes place you will then have the chance to display your personality. You can be sure that the fat, unclean looking guy with the gorgeous woman on his arm has plenty of cash in his pocket. There are exceptions, but in general this is how it works.
The point is that anyone can improve their outward appearance. It’s a matter of recognizing the importance of doing so. If you get in shape, and maintain a clean, healthy look you are more than 3 quarters of the way there.
Making her feel special
Poets would have us believe that love cannot be explained. However I really think that we can take a common sense look at what attracts and what repels. Women will want to be near men that make them feel needed and loved. This should not be a difficult task considering the payoff. Think of all the men out there who act like assholes and you will immediately see how a guy like you will soon have more girlfriends than there are hours in the day, if you keep the above in mind.
A lot of the things that we need to do to attract women are hard. That’s life. Life is not always easy. The simple fact is that to win at rugby you need to hit ppl. To win with women you need to beat out other men. These are the plain simple facts. Step back and take a close look at the principles that I have just discussed. You will no doubt be successful with the opposite sex once you understand and begin to apply these concepts.
Money is a factor in virtually every relationship. You will need money to go out on interesting dates such as the movies or to a restaurant. However, make sure you don’t give the impression that you are a big spending rich bitch, even if you really are. We want to avoid the big spender image because these type of ppl usually only have gold diggers around them. Your goal is to get her interested in “you, the person”, not in your money. Spend moderately, and show her a good time. If you don’t then other guys will.
Approaching her
There she is, you see a beautiful woman and you would like to get to know her. You could be at a club or outside during your lunch hour. There are plenty of hot chicks around. However, this one comes out of nowhere, and really captures you attention. What do you do?
I’m sure that in the past you have probably let opportunities such as this one just slip away. You see her. She captures your attention. However, you do nothing about it. She walks out of your life, and you never see her again. Well that’s not gona happen this time. You will approach her this time, and start up a conversation. The 1st step will be to get in the right frame of mind. This is the single most important thing in picking up pretty women.
You must truly believe that you are worthy of her. You deserve a hot woman to be you companion. Your attempt will be half-hearted and doomed top failure if you do not feel worthy of her. The real secret to scoring with women is simply having the guts to go over and start up a conversation. Always keep in mind that you have nothing to lose, and everything to gain. You go up to her and say “HI”. It’s that simple. Sure there’s more to say. However, this is the essence of what you must do.
Interpreting her subtle signals to your advantage
In picking up beautiful women there are no complicated formulas involved. You simply need to keep a few fundamental things in mind. The 1st 1 is interpreting her subtle signals to your advantage. This means getting a sense of who she is before you begin speaking to her. You observe her for a few minutes and ask yourself: what is her body language telling me? What do her clothes, hair, posture, mannerisms, ect say about her? All of this information that you visually collect gives you an idea of who she is, and what she’s about. It’s important to go through this analyzation process due to the fact that it will make you more comfortable when you begin to speak to her. If her mannerisms indicate to you that she is a shy person, you will then use a more delicate approach. With her and speak on the soft side. On the other hand if you detect that she is really an outgoing tyoe of person then you want to demonstrate a more lively side of yourself. In either case, keep away from shit like “Hey babe, how ya doin?” and “Wanna have some fun?” You don’t ever want to use any lines like that. After you say “Hi” you can introduce yourself and mention that she caught your attention and you just had to come over and at least find out if she’s single. It’s critical to have a relaxed, friendly and easygoing way about yourself. Never be hasty. Don’t ever seem desperate.
The importance of humor
Women love to laugh, so you can always use a bit of humor to your advantage. This is a great ice breaker. It is one of the best ways of beginning a conversation with a woman. You can start off by saying, “I heard a funny story… may I tell it to you?” you will be shocked at the number of times that she will say “Sure, why not”. She will love to hear it. Your job is to make sure that you have a funny antidote to relate to her. You can look at comedy tapes or joke books to come up with something that is especially charming.
Many times off the cuff comments work much better than well thought out pick up lines or jokes. You need to judge the situation and determine what is best for you to use.
Being yourself
Let her see the real you. This is important to remember. A lot of the times it is difficult for men to be relaxed when they approach women. This is mainly because we are often trying to be some1 we are not.
I mentioned earlier that we need to put ourselves in a better light than we’re actually in and that we could do this by slight exaggeration. This is fine if carried out in a discreet manner. Otherwise you will come off as a poser and a liar. You will be most relaxed when you display your true ideal self.
Getting to know her
In conversation tell her about yourself. Tell her where you went to school and what your hobbies are.
You can talk about music, movies and books. You want to show her that you are a well rounded person who takes part in a variety of activities. It will be during this conversation that you will gather up as much information as possible about what she like to do. You will ask her about her hobbies and her other interests. Then you just sit back and listen closely and carefully.
This is where adapting your personality will come into play. You will indicate to her that you have great interest in some of the things she has told you she enjoys, even if you currently do not. Once you really get to know the things she likes and start to do them with her there is a good chance that you will also begin to genuinely like doing them. The important thing to remember in the beginning is that you must be open minded. Having an open mind is extremely important in developing a common ground between you and a woman.
Up to this point you have accomplished a couple of very significant things. 1st of all, by the very act of approaching her you have separated yourself from the pack. She realizes this was not easy for you to do. Most men shy away. A lot of men are afraid that women will think that they are idiots for approaching them. In fact just the opposite is true. She will love being approached in such an honest and straight forward manner. Even if she is not available for a date she will still consider you a gentleman. Why? Because you were indeed a gentleman. That’s why.
The second significant thing you have done up to this point is the development of a common ground.
A lot of beautiful women feel that men approach them because they are only interested in getting laid. You have to demonstrate that you are interested in her for herself as a person, in her activities, and that you are just not using her for sex. Your tone of voice should be calm and confident. The expression on your face is relaxed. You are giving her complete attention as she speaks to you. This type of setting, and mind set, will allow you to concentrate on other aspects of the dating game besides sex. You listen, and if necessary adapt your personality to her interests. If you concentrate on perfecting this part of the game you will see that the sex will come naturally.
Get out there – be aggressive
You will only go out on a limited amount of dates if you are always waiting for formal introductions from friends and relatives. You need to go out and meet women on your own. Take the initiative. Be aggressive. The 1st step is just getting out there and doing it. I have found it helpful to have a few stories in mind that you can tell a woman in your initial meeting. It’s a good idea to commit a couple of interesting stories to memory. These stories will prove invaluable in the event that you are at a point in the conversation where both parties have nothing to say. Men are always concerned with this problem. Committing a good story to memory is an excellent way to avoid that dreaded deadly silence. You need to understand that she may be as nervous as you are. She may not know what to say. Thus, your story may be a life saver.
As I mentioned earlier on, you must also make sure you always flatter a woman. Women love compliments, so provide them with plenty. Don’t be ridiculous about it though. You must make sure there is some truth in the compliments. Avoid exaggerations. You should always concern yourself with being interested, rather than interesting.
Selling yourself
You don’t have to be smart, handsome or rich to meet beautiful women. However it won’t help you much if you are dumb, ugly and poor. The point that I’m trying to make is that you must make a good 1st impression. Your actions will demonstrate that you are a good person, exciting, smart and romantic. You are exactly what she is looking for.
You will not be able to demonstrate all your qualities in 10 minutes. However, you can give an overview of your general features that will leave her curious, and wanting more.
Each situation is different. However, as long as you use these concepts and incorporate your own unique style, you will notice that you will have more success with women than you thought was ever possible.
After the bedroom action
You are now done with the best humping session she has ever had. You have completely blown her mind. Both of you are lying on the bed exhausted. Sometimes a woman will feel sad at this point because the realization sets in that the great sexual feeling cannot last forever. It’s a psychological thing that quite a number of females experience. It is at that time that you might consider taking her into your arms and letting her know how special she is to you. You might even suggest that she spend the next weekend with you in a place such as Plett. That’s right, I’m dead serious. Of course it doesn’t need to be as extravagant as that, but you can offer her something special. The reason for this line of thinking is two fold: One, you are instantly injecting a lot of excitement that will lift her spirit sky high. The 2nd reason is that you will be instantly separating yourself from most men, since as soon as the sex act is over men will usually turn on their side and go to sleep.
I think that it’s a great idea to surprise her with instant weekend getaways. She will always have fond memories of you that will last her a lifetime. You will make her feel like the most special girl in the world. Remember that you have probably wasted money on countless things that were not as meaningful as a weekend together with this beautiful woman. In addition give her flowers her flowers, chocolates, or take her to a good restaurant where they serve her favorite food. You will instantly show her your romantic side with actions such as these. You will separate yourself from other men by doing such things during any day of the year, not just on special occasions such as birthdays.
Places to meet women
You can meet women all over the place. At museums, elevators, churches, clubs, parks and even on the street. You can be creative and out yourself in a position where you would be the only man among many women. You can join art classes or cooking seminars. I know that these are common sense ideas but I also realize that many of us men overlook these obvious situations. You will have the women competing for your attention in situations such as this. Give it a try and see what I mean. I can tell you that it has worked well for me. I do my laundry each week at a laundromat that’s filled with women, each one waiting their turn to talk to the “nice single guy who’s so polite”. For this to work nicely thought it should be a laundromat close to a varsity or college.
If you play your cards right you can be scoring like crazy at places like the supermarket while all the other guys are striking out every night at clubs and pubs.
The initial encounter
It is a scientifically proven fact that the brains of men and women are psychologically different. You must learn to exploit these differences to your advantage. A basic knowledge of how the average woman thinks is the strongest weapon you can have when trying to start something with her. I’m aware that at 1st glance this sounds cold and calculating. However, after you start dating the woman you desire, it will be at this point that she will fall in love with you. Dating her will provide you with the opportunity to showcase who you really are, a nice, hardworking, good guy ;-)
The simple fact is that before we try to build any type of relationship we must 1st get her to open up to us. The starting point could be her accepting a date with or even just her talking to you right there on the spot. It’s during this critical initial encounter that she will decide whether or not you are the man she would like to build a relationship with. It is precisely at this point where you must be cold and calculating. She is sizing you up, comparing you to her idea of the perfect man.
One of the biggest mistakes most guys make is that when they try to impress chicks they do so as if the chick is “one of the guys”. Stay away from this type of behavior. You must always treat them like ladies. Very few men realize that women love to be treated like ladies.
Women worry much more then we do. They fret about things like work, money, health and family. A sophisticated approach in appealing to a woman involves the subtle suggestion that you will be “good for her future”. She needs to clearly understand that you can handle tough situations. You can be counted on to take care of things for her, and bring her happiness. Let her tell you what her concerns are. What bothers her? Explain to her how you dealt with similar situations, and offer her some intelligent suggestions. If she seems to be lacking self confidence tell her how capable she seems to you. Many times with your initial encounter with women this type of scenario will play itself out. She will evaluate your every response. She is testing you. At times a woman will casually ask you a question in an off-hand manner that will give you the impression that she is not really concerned with your response. However, in reality she is weighing your words very carefully. Make sure that you give her a sensible intelligent response.
Understanding relationships
Personal relationships are extremely important to women. It is their dream to meet a man who they will fall in love with. A woman enjoys her girlfriends company; however what she really longs for is a deep intimate relationship with a man. This is inborn. Every time a woman meets a man she is thinking of him in terms of “what kind of partner would he be?” If not for her then she will think of you as a potential boyfriend for 1 of her single girlfriends. Keep this in mind when you are in the company of women. Always put your best foot forward and never let your guard down.
It is a fact that women end relationships more often than men do. They know and understand more about them than we do. We tend to fall in love quicker. We do not communicate between our brains and our hearts. A very important rule of thumb is that you should always use your brain when it comes to the dating game. Always step back and evaluate the situation to ensure that you are in control.
An example of how men demonstrate true friendship is by inviting someone that they like to be with to a rugby or soccer game. Women on the other hand show friendship and trust by sharing their secrets. Very few men will open up and share their secrets with a woman. A great way to set yourself apart from other men who you are in direct competition with is to open up and tell her your secrets. If you do not she will feel as though she is not part of your life.
Success with hot women can be yours. You can have beautiful girls as companions and lovers. The 1st step is believing this reality. I stress the fact that rejections will occur, just move on to the next woman. Your future lover will be glad you did!
What women look for
Marrying some1 for love is a relatively new phenomenon. As you have no doubt heard in a social studies course, marriages in the past were always arranged by families. These arrangements were made for practical financial considerations, and love had nothing to do with it. Well, today the same practical considerations exist. Women will judge you by the job that you currently hold. Your future earning potential will be closely scrutinized. I really don’t think you should let yourself be tossed aside just because your career prospects suck at the moment.
Don’t be too hard on women for being this way. We can be difficult as well. Foe example, if you met an ugly girl and had a 1 night stand with her you would not be bothered if she ever called you again. You would not care because she wasn’t very pretty to begin with. Now, is that nice? Of course it’s not. Bottom line, it’s a cruel world.
You can learn a lot by reading personals in any newspaper. Look at what men and women want. Men want young hot wives. Women want a man who is financially secure, or who has potential of achieving financial security. This is why you must demonstrate that you are capable of earning enough money to provide a more than comfortable lifestyle for your future wife and kids. There are other positive attributes that you need to convey to a woman. You must be kind and intelligent. Act with a certain level of sophistication, have an experienced air about you. You can project all these images by the way you speak to her. Be calm, confident, in control, and above all, always give her the impression that you have the utmost respect for her.
Setting yourself apart from the competition
It is the greatest thing in the when our love is returned to us by a beautiful woman that we desire. This will happen for you if you keep these concepts in mind the next time you hit the dance floor or a local club. Think ATTRACTION. In the 1st stages of a relationship she will go through an idealization process concerning you. She will magnify all your good qualities in her mind. You will then be compared to her standard of absolute perfection and excellence. It is critical during this part of the game to be as perfect as you can be. This does not mean that you turn into a doos later on. It simply means that you must set yourself apart from the competition in order to establish the relationship with her in the 1st place.
Understanding women
It is crucial to show a woman that you care about her accomplishments. Don’t wait for her to tell you things about her career or about herself in general. Rather than waiting for her to tell you about these things you should 1st ask her about these subjects, and provide advice. Your inquiries will indicate to her that you are genuinely interested in what goes on in her life, and you are willing to provide support.
Many men are just plain idiots in that they neglect everything their girlfriends do. This is an enormous mistake that eventually sends those women to the arms of another guy. Do not fall into that trap. Be generous and become part of her life, like she’s apart of yours.
In doing this it is critical to display a sense of loyalty in your character. Women are good judges of such traits, thus don’t be fake about it. She will see you as a protector, provider, and some1 who cares about himself and those he loves. Whether she realizes it or not, these traits are critical in her selection of a man.
Getting noticed
Before I go on to the next section, I want stress one last time the importance of the initial encounter. In referring to the “initial encounter” I’m not only talking bout the 1st time you meet her. I’m also referring to the 1st few weeks of the relationship. The attraction stage. You must do everything possible to enhance your physical appearance. There is no way around this. If you’re fat, get on a weight loss program. The truth is that a clean-cut, healthy appearance on a man is very important to the vast majority of women.
You will often hear ppl say that looks don’t count and it’s personality that’s important. That is BULLSHIT! In real life dating you get 1st the attraction of the woman with your physical attraction. Once the physical attraction takes place you will then have the chance to display your personality. You can be sure that the fat, unclean looking guy with the gorgeous woman on his arm has plenty of cash in his pocket. There are exceptions, but in general this is how it works.
The point is that anyone can improve their outward appearance. It’s a matter of recognizing the importance of doing so. If you get in shape, and maintain a clean, healthy look you are more than 3 quarters of the way there.
Making her feel special
Poets would have us believe that love cannot be explained. However I really think that we can take a common sense look at what attracts and what repels. Women will want to be near men that make them feel needed and loved. This should not be a difficult task considering the payoff. Think of all the men out there who act like assholes and you will immediately see how a guy like you will soon have more girlfriends than there are hours in the day, if you keep the above in mind.
A lot of the things that we need to do to attract women are hard. That’s life. Life is not always easy. The simple fact is that to win at rugby you need to hit ppl. To win with women you need to beat out other men. These are the plain simple facts. Step back and take a close look at the principles that I have just discussed. You will no doubt be successful with the opposite sex once you understand and begin to apply these concepts.
Money is a factor in virtually every relationship. You will need money to go out on interesting dates such as the movies or to a restaurant. However, make sure you don’t give the impression that you are a big spending rich bitch, even if you really are. We want to avoid the big spender image because these type of ppl usually only have gold diggers around them. Your goal is to get her interested in “you, the person”, not in your money. Spend moderately, and show her a good time. If you don’t then other guys will.
Approaching her
There she is, you see a beautiful woman and you would like to get to know her. You could be at a club or outside during your lunch hour. There are plenty of hot chicks around. However, this one comes out of nowhere, and really captures you attention. What do you do?
I’m sure that in the past you have probably let opportunities such as this one just slip away. You see her. She captures your attention. However, you do nothing about it. She walks out of your life, and you never see her again. Well that’s not gona happen this time. You will approach her this time, and start up a conversation. The 1st step will be to get in the right frame of mind. This is the single most important thing in picking up pretty women.
You must truly believe that you are worthy of her. You deserve a hot woman to be you companion. Your attempt will be half-hearted and doomed top failure if you do not feel worthy of her. The real secret to scoring with women is simply having the guts to go over and start up a conversation. Always keep in mind that you have nothing to lose, and everything to gain. You go up to her and say “HI”. It’s that simple. Sure there’s more to say. However, this is the essence of what you must do.
Interpreting her subtle signals to your advantage
In picking up beautiful women there are no complicated formulas involved. You simply need to keep a few fundamental things in mind. The 1st 1 is interpreting her subtle signals to your advantage. This means getting a sense of who she is before you begin speaking to her. You observe her for a few minutes and ask yourself: what is her body language telling me? What do her clothes, hair, posture, mannerisms, ect say about her? All of this information that you visually collect gives you an idea of who she is, and what she’s about. It’s important to go through this analyzation process due to the fact that it will make you more comfortable when you begin to speak to her. If her mannerisms indicate to you that she is a shy person, you will then use a more delicate approach. With her and speak on the soft side. On the other hand if you detect that she is really an outgoing tyoe of person then you want to demonstrate a more lively side of yourself. In either case, keep away from shit like “Hey babe, how ya doin?” and “Wanna have some fun?” You don’t ever want to use any lines like that. After you say “Hi” you can introduce yourself and mention that she caught your attention and you just had to come over and at least find out if she’s single. It’s critical to have a relaxed, friendly and easygoing way about yourself. Never be hasty. Don’t ever seem desperate.
The importance of humor
Women love to laugh, so you can always use a bit of humor to your advantage. This is a great ice breaker. It is one of the best ways of beginning a conversation with a woman. You can start off by saying, “I heard a funny story… may I tell it to you?” you will be shocked at the number of times that she will say “Sure, why not”. She will love to hear it. Your job is to make sure that you have a funny antidote to relate to her. You can look at comedy tapes or joke books to come up with something that is especially charming.
Many times off the cuff comments work much better than well thought out pick up lines or jokes. You need to judge the situation and determine what is best for you to use.
Being yourself
Let her see the real you. This is important to remember. A lot of the times it is difficult for men to be relaxed when they approach women. This is mainly because we are often trying to be some1 we are not.
I mentioned earlier that we need to put ourselves in a better light than we’re actually in and that we could do this by slight exaggeration. This is fine if carried out in a discreet manner. Otherwise you will come off as a poser and a liar. You will be most relaxed when you display your true ideal self.
Getting to know her
In conversation tell her about yourself. Tell her where you went to school and what your hobbies are.
You can talk about music, movies and books. You want to show her that you are a well rounded person who takes part in a variety of activities. It will be during this conversation that you will gather up as much information as possible about what she like to do. You will ask her about her hobbies and her other interests. Then you just sit back and listen closely and carefully.
This is where adapting your personality will come into play. You will indicate to her that you have great interest in some of the things she has told you she enjoys, even if you currently do not. Once you really get to know the things she likes and start to do them with her there is a good chance that you will also begin to genuinely like doing them. The important thing to remember in the beginning is that you must be open minded. Having an open mind is extremely important in developing a common ground between you and a woman.
Up to this point you have accomplished a couple of very significant things. 1st of all, by the very act of approaching her you have separated yourself from the pack. She realizes this was not easy for you to do. Most men shy away. A lot of men are afraid that women will think that they are idiots for approaching them. In fact just the opposite is true. She will love being approached in such an honest and straight forward manner. Even if she is not available for a date she will still consider you a gentleman. Why? Because you were indeed a gentleman. That’s why.
The second significant thing you have done up to this point is the development of a common ground.
A lot of beautiful women feel that men approach them because they are only interested in getting laid. You have to demonstrate that you are interested in her for herself as a person, in her activities, and that you are just not using her for sex. Your tone of voice should be calm and confident. The expression on your face is relaxed. You are giving her complete attention as she speaks to you. This type of setting, and mind set, will allow you to concentrate on other aspects of the dating game besides sex. You listen, and if necessary adapt your personality to her interests. If you concentrate on perfecting this part of the game you will see that the sex will come naturally.
Get out there – be aggressive
You will only go out on a limited amount of dates if you are always waiting for formal introductions from friends and relatives. You need to go out and meet women on your own. Take the initiative. Be aggressive. The 1st step is just getting out there and doing it. I have found it helpful to have a few stories in mind that you can tell a woman in your initial meeting. It’s a good idea to commit a couple of interesting stories to memory. These stories will prove invaluable in the event that you are at a point in the conversation where both parties have nothing to say. Men are always concerned with this problem. Committing a good story to memory is an excellent way to avoid that dreaded deadly silence. You need to understand that she may be as nervous as you are. She may not know what to say. Thus, your story may be a life saver.
As I mentioned earlier on, you must also make sure you always flatter a woman. Women love compliments, so provide them with plenty. Don’t be ridiculous about it though. You must make sure there is some truth in the compliments. Avoid exaggerations. You should always concern yourself with being interested, rather than interesting.
Selling yourself
You don’t have to be smart, handsome or rich to meet beautiful women. However it won’t help you much if you are dumb, ugly and poor. The point that I’m trying to make is that you must make a good 1st impression. Your actions will demonstrate that you are a good person, exciting, smart and romantic. You are exactly what she is looking for.
You will not be able to demonstrate all your qualities in 10 minutes. However, you can give an overview of your general features that will leave her curious, and wanting more.
Each situation is different. However, as long as you use these concepts and incorporate your own unique style, you will notice that you will have more success with women than you thought was ever possible.
After the bedroom action
You are now done with the best humping session she has ever had. You have completely blown her mind. Both of you are lying on the bed exhausted. Sometimes a woman will feel sad at this point because the realization sets in that the great sexual feeling cannot last forever. It’s a psychological thing that quite a number of females experience. It is at that time that you might consider taking her into your arms and letting her know how special she is to you. You might even suggest that she spend the next weekend with you in a place such as Plett. That’s right, I’m dead serious. Of course it doesn’t need to be as extravagant as that, but you can offer her something special. The reason for this line of thinking is two fold: One, you are instantly injecting a lot of excitement that will lift her spirit sky high. The 2nd reason is that you will be instantly separating yourself from most men, since as soon as the sex act is over men will usually turn on their side and go to sleep.
I think that it’s a great idea to surprise her with instant weekend getaways. She will always have fond memories of you that will last her a lifetime. You will make her feel like the most special girl in the world. Remember that you have probably wasted money on countless things that were not as meaningful as a weekend together with this beautiful woman. In addition give her flowers her flowers, chocolates, or take her to a good restaurant where they serve her favorite food. You will instantly show her your romantic side with actions such as these. You will separate yourself from other men by doing such things during any day of the year, not just on special occasions such as birthdays.
Places to meet women
You can meet women all over the place. At museums, elevators, churches, clubs, parks and even on the street. You can be creative and out yourself in a position where you would be the only man among many women. You can join art classes or cooking seminars. I know that these are common sense ideas but I also realize that many of us men overlook these obvious situations. You will have the women competing for your attention in situations such as this. Give it a try and see what I mean. I can tell you that it has worked well for me. I do my laundry each week at a laundromat that’s filled with women, each one waiting their turn to talk to the “nice single guy who’s so polite”. For this to work nicely thought it should be a laundromat close to a varsity or college.
If you play your cards right you can be scoring like crazy at places like the supermarket while all the other guys are striking out every night at clubs and pubs.
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