Dealing with a break up

Coping with a break up can be one of the most difficult things to do. You'll find you can't eat, you can't sleep, you can't work - and all the time you will be constantly plagued by unwelcomed thoughts of the ex, the relationship breakdown, and your future without them.

Of course, you hurt. You're also going through a withdrawal ... YES, a withdrawal! When you are in an intimate relationship you become accustomed to having a certain person in your life, and your daily lifestyle with them. When that 'normalcy' is suddenly taken away from you, you will naturally have to go through some kind of withdrawal stage.

A break up can be on of the hardest things that one can go through. More often than not, breaking up is as hard on the person trying to end the relationship as it is on the person he or she is breaking up with. Don't assume that just because a person is breaking up with you means that they no longer care about you. You must remember that caring and wanting a relationship are not one and the same.

But after all has been said, the emotional toll of a break up can be really really hard at first. It can be a painful experience that can drain one emotionally. But one needs to learn how to deal with it in a very mature way. Here are some food for thought that may be able to help you in coping up with your own break up.

1. Try to accept your sadness and be very kind to yourself.
2. Treat and indulge yourself to some of life’s enjoyable pleasures.
3. Try to ask yourself each day what you have to be grateful for.
4. Make it a habit of thinking up a list of all the things that are great about you and tell yourself.
5. Being broken up with does not mean that something is wrong with you.
6. It is always all right to cry, get mad and feel hurt when you get dumped in a relationship.
7. Breaking up is never always easy.
8. Acting out in anger is never good for anybody.
9. Things may look bleak for you after the break up, but you never know what the future may hold for you and your ex."

When a relationship ends, you may experience symptoms of grief and periodic despair. The foundation of love is sharing, trust and intimacy. This foundation is built through a willingness to be vulnerable. Intimate vulnerability allows your thoughts and emotions to be expressed in the atmosphere of shared experience. When circumstances no longer provide for a bond of intimacy, love and trust, the separation can feel devastating.

The following are common feelings often experienced when a relationship ends. There is no right or wrong feeling to have - we each react to the end of a relationship in our own unique way.

* Denial.
* Anger.
* Fear.
* Self-blame.
* Guilt.
* Disorientation.
* Bargaining.
* Relief.
* Growth.

How to cope with a breakup?

* Give yourself time to heal.
* Engage in 'self-help' practices.
* Realise that you might not be functioning at your best right now.
* Mobilise your support system.
* Get active in joining the club/society you are interested or you belong to.
* Highlight the reasons that the relationship was less than perfect.
* Learn from what happened.
* Volunteer your time to help someone else.
* Learn something new.
* Get a pet or plant.
* Start a new exercise or wellness plan.
* Redecorate your space.
* Write a goodbye letter.
* Get a new look. "
If your having trouble coping with break up depression you are not alone. People all across the world are having trouble controlling their emotions and getting a grip on their situations. There are things you can do to ease your pain. Here are three tips directly from the pages of the best selling ebook from the Magic Of Making Up. These tips will help you in coping with break up pain.

Tip#1- Avoid Contact With Your Ex - This is the number one most common mistake made by people having trouble coping with break up pain. Talking to your ex is not the answer to your problems. They are the cause of them. Your emotions are not stable right now. If you call you will only say things you will regret and come off a way you do not wish to come off as. The best thing you can do when coping with break up depression is hide that phone. You will be better off for it.

Tip#2- Get out of the house- Staying indoors listening to your break up mix on your ipod is the wrong move. One you will have trouble following tip#1 and second being alone makes coping with break up pain that much harder. So get out of the house and surround your self with friends. You need to be around people who can ease your mind. You need to laugh and have some simple mindless fun. If you must talk about how you are having trouble coping with break up pain then talk to friends and family and not the ex. And do it out of the house!

Tip#3- Improve Yourself- This is important. Change it up. This means go on a diet, start a workout routine, get a new hobby or learn a new skill. This will do two things. One it will preoccupy your mind so you can get a break from thinking about the situation and two you will improve your self esteem. This is important to bring some positive energy toward your self and will help in coping with break up pain. Coping with break up pain is a lot easier when you feel good about yourself.

Once You have done these things and feel that you are now no longer in need of help coping with break up pain ask yourself the tough questions. Are you still in love with your ex? Are you heart broken or is your ego bruised? Do you want them back out of love or out of revenge? A lot of times we are so focused on coping with break up pain we can't get a clear view of our situation. Make sure this is what you want before you attempt to get them back.

If you still need help coping with break up pain or want a strategy for getting back your ex check out the best selling ebook the Magic Of Making Up. It worked wonders for me and will do the same for you.
Don't do something stupid
Committing suicide is stupid. It simply means that you are trying to escape from the reality world. You don't deal with a break up by ending your life. A break up doesn't indicate the end of the world. Wake up, my friend, there are many more people who are suffering from severe diseases and living in poverty but yet still fighting hard and refuse to surrender to their misfortunes. You are just temporary missing your directions in a dark corner, time will heal your broken heart.

Don't let off your anger on others
It is always not an easy task in dealing with a break up even if you have been through many times in the past. Emotionally, you are sad and upset, or maybe feeling unfair and uncomfortable when seeing other couples are enjoying happy moments with their partners around. No matter how bad your feeling is, do not let off your anger or disappointment on your friends and family around. Deal with your tough periods maturely please. If you think you need helps or someone to talk to, friends and family are the best people who can help you dealing with your break up by giving you guidance and advice.

Don't hate your ex
Hatred and revenge are sharp feelings which will hurt yourself more than anyone else. Remember, the break up doesn't mean that your ex is having a better life than you. He might be suffering in pain just like you too, so instead of hating him, why not stay cool and give him a smile, show him that you are very enjoying every moment of your life and wish him all the best if you get the chance to bump into him? Dealing with your break up correctly will make him feel that you are a wonderful person and he might start regretting how on earth he can miss out the good personalities on you.

Don't take in excessive substances
You may feel that you need some alcoholic drinks to forget your ex. Have a bottle or two will be sufficient, but excessive might get yourself in health hazard. Actually, having a drink is definitely not the correct way to deal with your break up. It is impossible to erase your memories about your ex by forcing yourself drinking the alcohols, in fact, the more you try to make yourself forget, the more the memories flash into your mind. Why not try something sweet? Sweet stuff are definitely effective in healing your broken heart.